The Fix

Back in May of 2014, I entered a flash fiction contest at Sound and Scribe, then a site dedicated to flash fiction contests based on soundscapes. Jez Layman won the inaugural contest in March that year. In May, the soundscape was “Leave the door wide open” by NO (note: the soundscape was provided as a streaming mp3 so authors wouldn’t be influenced by the imagery in a music video.

My flash fiction short story won the prize (an Amazon gift card I promptly used to buy a Zoom G1u guitar effects box (for my new Risa ukelele)), but Sound and Scribe sadly folded later that year.

Recently, I panicked a bit when I found I couldn’t locate my flash fiction story; fortunately, it exists in my google drive. So I’ve decided to post it here since it is no longer available under Sound and Scribe.

Time travel isn’t easy. You can only go back once. At least, that’s all I’ve ever been able to accomplish. Maybe others out there are more talented than I. Or maybe they’ve suffered a greater emotional loss–that’s what triggers it.

The first time I went back happened when my mother died. I had been just too damn busy to visit her, wrapped up in my classes and my life on campus.

She was already gone when the police called me to let me know she had collapsed at home.

I dropped everything then; but it was too late. Missed my midterms, arranged the funeral, and tried to comfort my dad and my three sisters. It wasn’t until after I was back on campus that the pain of loss hit. All the words I had left unsaid. All the sadness at not being able to say goodbye. It felt like a massive icicle slammed into my chest.

At the moment of greatest pain came a weird state of hyper clarity. I could almost see the myriad timelines, the sequence of “ifs”, the paths not taken. Several stretched behind me to where my mother lived. I went…

The bare branches no longer stood in stark relief against the sunset; my breath no longer fogged in the cold air. Instead, students made their way across campus on a clear, sunny autumn morning, ignoring my unnatural transgression against time.

I didn’t stop to ask the stupid questions but raced home to my car and drove like a madman up I-57 to my home. It was just after noon when I arrived. I didn’t ring the doorbell, but used my key to open the door.

My mom had just come down the stairs. I ran to her, hugged and told her I loved her.

She was surprised but happy, which made it all the worse when I felt her stiffen and then slump in my arms.

The emergency medics couldn’t save her.

Afterwards, I tried to go back again, maybe further back, but the path was denied me.

I know this all sounds crazy, Maddy. But feel my hand holding yours. It feels right, doesn’t it? Some day you will confide in me that you can tell how right someone is for you by the way they hold your hand. Our hands feel like love together, like a promise for all our tomorrows.

How would I know this if we hadn’t been together?

I hope you can look into my eyes and see the truth of what I’m telling you, even though from your viewpoint we’ve only just met. I know I am just a stranger to you today. But I tell you: you will be very special to me. We’ll be special to each other. A year from now I’ll propose…

Why, you accept…

Wait. Wait. Let me finish–I’ve come all the way back from then to today to fix the mistake that we’ll both regret.

Please don’t go.

Damn it.

Tim is a founding member of the Journey, co-Municipal Liaison for the Naperville region of National Novel Writing Month, and the author of several short stories.

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About K.T. Bradford’s Challenge

Tempest_Nisibook
KT Bradford, aka Tempest

K.T. Bradford, also known as Tempest, recently issued a controversial* challenge to speculative fiction readers. The headline of her piece, appearing in xojane, is: “I Challenge You to Stop Reading White, Straight, Cis Male Authors for One Year”

Hmm. Intriguing. There’s a lot more to the piece than its title and  I can’t do it justice by writing “about” it. It’s not long; I’d go read it if I were you. The rest of this post will be waiting when you get back.

Predictably, there was foofaraw, mostly from a certain small, vocal segment of White, Straight, Cis** Male people whom I suspect reacted as much to the title as anything else. Like many other folks, I was curious about what one particular writer who fits that demographic thought about the piece and the surrounding foofaraw. I figured I had a pretty good idea what John Scalzi would say, and that it wouldn’t be a lot different than the way I thought. I was mostly right.

Where Scalzi and I agree:

  1. It’s only a year
  2. It doesn’t have to start and end on any particular date.
  3. In the grand scheme of publishing, it’s extremely unlikely that a large enough group of people will be avoiding white straight cis male authors to ruin anyone’s career. If I don’t read a book by John Scalzi (or some relatively unknown white straight cis male) within a particular span, nothing says I can’t read it once the year is up. There are unlikely to be a ton of people doing it the exact same time as I, so White Guy will still sell pretty close to the same number of books within a given year as he would have otherwise.

Where Scalzi and I differ:

He’s satisfied that what he reads is varied enough. He doesn’t feel the need to accept the challenge because he already reads, enjoys, and learns from many diverse writers. Besides, if he stopped reading white, male, straight, cis writers, he wouldn’t be able to read his own work, and since he makes his living as a writer, he’d be up a creek.

On the other hand, I think my reading list could use some shaking up.  Plus, I don’t have the same problem he has. I could choose to take Tempest’s challenge and still be able to read/revise/proof my own work.

My plan:

This challenge isn’t a boycott. It’s a way of opening one’s eyes to other viewpoints that have not, historically, gotten much exposure. There are so books by different kinds of writers out there. The time I spend reading something from the dominant viewpoint is time I can’t be spending expanding my horizons in a way I find especially intriguing.

So I think I’ll give it a try, once I’ve finished reading this year’s Nebula-nominated works by regular white dudes. Because I’m probably going to the Nebula weekend this year…it’s finally in Chicago!

Tempest provides a few handy lists of interesting writers, providing 1- books by women, 2- books by writers of color, and 3- books in translation. I can’t wait to see what I’ve missed.

*Controversial to some people, though not so much to me. Upon reading this challenge, I felt like I was part of the choir to whom Tempest was preaching. There are a few white, straight, male, cis folks who are not pleased. To put it mildly.
**For those not familiar with the term “cisgender,” it means a person identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth, rather than being transgender.

Catherine published a novel and short story back in the 1990s. Life intervened, and she didn’t write for a while. But then she started writing again in 2010 for National Novel Writing Month, and has continued to write in November and throughout the year. She has stories in two Journey anthologies, Drops of Midnight and Other Worlds. She is currently either revising her latest NaNoWriMo novel from 2012, working on short fiction, or posting on her blog, CB’s Mojo.

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Shakespeare Readers Theatre – March 13, April 16 and April 24

The works of William Shakespeare are beautifully written but many aren’t aware of how much fun they are to read and to act. The Journey, the writing group associated with this Naperville region of National Novel Writing Month, has scheduled some sessions for folks to come out to read-through (no memorization required!) one of Shakespeare’s […]

Tim is a founding member of the Journey, co-Municipal Liaison for the Naperville region of National Novel Writing Month, and the author of several short stories.

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